I have to remind myself that I am STILL a first time Mom. I am learning as I go. And Knox.. my sweet little Knox.. is my guinea pig. He is teaching / learning with me! It seems like the moment I feel like I’ve gotten it all together, a brand new stage of life presents itself and knocks me back off my high horse. Reminding me that I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I AM DOING. Anyone else feel like that?
Knox is going through this new phase where he will not go anywhere without me or Ryan. Not his primary class at church. Not the day care at the gym (which is making my goal to work out more this year really hard). Not anywhere. He will scream at the top of his lungs, crying, swinging his arms, and literally throw a complete fit. My first instinct was to just make him go. He’ll get over this phase. To force him. It is just such an inconvenience.. TO ME. I called my Mom in desperation (thank heavens for good moms) to ask her advice. She told me to be patient. That for some reason, big or small, Knox doesn’t feel safe. This is a big deal to him. It is scary and I should not force him. This totally made me think. I was being so selfish thinking that my sweet son’s fear was inconveniencing me. I took a step back and realized what was most important. HIM. His happiness is way more important then a work out at the gym. Obviously we will continue to work through these issues so he can feel safe and have a fun time when we are gone. It’s just figuring out how to do it. See! I really have no idea what I am doing. I’m learning as I go!
I love this little boy and am so glad that we get to experience this first time parent run through together. I love having him as my little side kick. My little boy version mini me. He bring so much joy into my life. He puts his sticky little hands on my cheeks and tells me I’m pretty. He is everything.